Lately I have found the word 'rubbish' rolling around in my mind. Why you ask? Because the longer I am away from the "things" I know and have found comfort in, the greater my desire for them grows....and the saddest part about that is that most of those things are 'rubbish'. They are not eternal, they in themselves do not give or bring joy. If anything they create in you a desire for more or the feeling that you have a "right" to them. Neither of which is good!
How is it that I can know that every good gift comes from the CEO and that I have done nothing to earn or deserve his goodness, nor do I have the promise that anything I have today will be here tomorrow and yet I can still feel deprived if I don't have them? I know this is where gratitude comes in, but the heart is such a fickle, deceitful thing, you can say you are grateful for them but the true test is how you feel when they are actually gone, what then is your response?
I am so very thankful that the CEO has given the Manual to us, how very blessed we are to be able to read of the triumphs and failures of other men! Some who strived to follow the CEO with all their heart and still made stunning mistakes, others who heard the truth and flat out rejected them for their own wisdom and brought destruction on themselves. Paul's words have resonated more with me lately than probably at any other time of my life,
"When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my innerThankfully I also have,
being I delight in "the CEO's" law, but I see another law at work in
the members of my body waging war against the law of my mind and making
me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a
wretched man I am!" Rom. 7:21-24
What amazing love He has shown us in that we are not left to fight the enemy without and within by ourselves, which we could never do! That He promises hope, strength and forgiveness for each day with the power to overcome.
"You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit of
"the CEO" if the Spirit lives in you." Rom. 8:9
So when I am feeling mopey and sad that Christmas is different, or that is doesn't "feel" like Christmas shouldn't I remember all the times that I told my children that the joy of Christmas isn't found in "things" but in the fact the "The CEO so loved the world that he gave his one and only son......"? That because of that act of supreme love we have redemption and a hope that no one can steal! Again, in the comfort of being surrounded by "all things Christmas" my words came easy. Yet now in the light of my present reality, what is the true response of my heart? Is it joy over the birth of the Son and what that means or is it sadness over rubbish that I don't get to enjoy this year? I wish my answer were different but if I am to be honest......I have found myself sad because my heart has desired the rubbish. Selfish want and desire always breed discontent, never a sense of thankfulness.
So as I work through the struggles of my own emotions and ask the CEO to continue to make me more like him and a lot less like me, take a moment to do your own heart test. Do you love rubbish? Over here it looks like it's time to take the trash out, what time is it where you are?